The Un-Becoming.

"The Journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you so you can be who your were really meant to be in the first place."

This isn't the first time I have shared this quote. I have shared it a few posts ago in a graphic. It's been rattling around in my head ever since. I can't seem to let it go yet. I don't think I have unpacked its entire meaning yet. I think it still has something to say. Or maybe I just need to define it in a way that is easily relatable and can be shared with my friends and family.

Or maybe it just fully resounds with what I am pushing myself through RIGHT NOW that I am hesitant to let it just fly off in the wind. I stand in the torrents, desperately clutching it like a flag to my heaving chest. 

I have been a lot of things in the past but the way I stand, unapologetically and unwaivering, today - is more true to my soul than any other way I have lived thus far. To date I have sloughed off unthankful users, soul-suckingly negative relationships, antiquated value systems, and more as if I was exfoliating dead skin. If it did not contribute to my life in a positive way - then it quickly went the way of the DoDo Bird. 

I believe this even relates to the preciously defined family. If they are not willing to hold up their end of the bargain as 'family' then why would you keep them around to let you down again in the future? Easy... you don't. 

Fool me once.

Keeping negative things and people in your life is only inviting further negativity.

Similarly I don't watch scary movies - because those thoughts stay in my head (I WANT TO UNSEE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY!) I don't peruse comment sections that are filled with ignorance and vitriol. I don't let myself get addicted to TV shows. I do not wallow in deep self-pity in the odd moment that I indulge in a bowl of ice cream or sleep in instead of going to the gym. 

I do not wade into mud that I don't want to get stuck in.

Fortunately the more often you are aware of these negative speed bumps the better you can get at avoiding them and dis-including them from your life. And 2016 was to be the year I finished this process. The year I finally learned to say no to the vampirious time-sucks. 2016 was my"Year of the No" before it became the 52 Things Project. It was my chance to stand up and claim that my time and my definitions of who I am were only mine. I have since made it less about saying "No" to things that did not draw the blood to my lips to the year I said "Yes" to ONLY those things that did. (Reformat it into the affirmative! :)

Prioritizing my time based on my (and my family's) needs is refreshing but still difficult. The people asking you for your time are not strangers. They are not asking you for your help for no reason at all. They are not garnering volunteers for useless activities. They all have worth and they all are meaningful - though to varying degrees to various people. 

Reevaluating my time spent on these activities isn't as easy as saying no to everyone (as I previously thought it would when considering 2016 'Year of the No'). Having a blanket approach to these inquiries is not a realistic possibility. Each one should be recognized ("This person is asking for my time") and answered based on the priority of that person or activity in your life. Sometimes those two even combat each other.

So I am still learning - I don't have any hard-and-fast rules to apply just yet. But I have found value in making sure that the value of my time is blatantly obvious. I keep a wary eye on things that might end up nudged onto my schedule and block them if I do not wholly believe in their worth. 

Beyond that I don't have any quick tips - but I'm going to keep trying.